Thanks for visiting my small space of the internet. I figured that perhaps I should start with introducing myself and giving a little background info.
I grew up in a fairly small suburb city in Southern California (that has since grown immensely). In my early years, I had a general idea of what I wanted to do with my life: get married and have babies. There’s definitely nothing wrong with having those as goals, but as I got older and older, I realized that’s not what I wanted, that’s what the culture I grew up in wanted.
As I approached the end of my senior year in high school, I began to have many doubts about where I was headed. I was accepted into my dream school (BYU), but suddenly felt terrified of attending. B I felt like it was too late. My fate was decided for me. So off I went in the fall of 2008, on my own for the first time. I quickly learned that I didn’t really fit in, but ultimately decided to stay in Utah.
I met a boy and had my first real relationship that lasted about 2.5 years. In the beginning, it was honestly a whirlwind romance. I fell in love hard and fast and let myself get completely carried away. The honeymoon stage faded pretty quickly and the fighting began. We did not have a solid relationship, constantly breaking up to make up and both of us just not really knowing what we wanted. When it all ended, it was really neither of our faults (that I learned many years later, unfortunately). After the final breakup, he quickly got married and I decided there was nothing left in Utah for me, so I moved back home.
When I moved back home, those same feelings of uncertainty flooded me the same way they did when I moved out the first time. I didn’t know what to expect and I spent a few months feeling very alone. However, that quickly ended when I entered my second real relationship. In fact, little did I know, my whole life was about to change.
We started rock climbing and doing all sorts of outdoorsy things together. We loved each other fiercely (okay.. cheesy, but true). I thought we had this unique relationship and felt so strongly that we were meant to be. And honestly, we were, just not in the way that I thought. I won’t get into the details of our relationship, but we did get married! We had the most lovely wedding and honeymoon and he made me so genuinely happy.
Nine months in, he decided he needed to move on. That was the hardest day of my life (followed by years of difficulty). I was desperate to save us. He was confused. It was a really chaotic time to put it lightly. And throughout all of that…. I ended up accidentally pregnant.
And honestly, that brings us to where we are now. That man and I didn’t end up together, but we brought the most beautiful boy into the world! So now we are figuring out coparenting and raising this little human to be the best he can be.
Because I had cultivated my love for the outdoors throughout those years, I now want to teach my son about the wonders of the earth and give him that spirit of adventure that I have been blessed with. Part of my sanity throughout motherhood depends on being able to continue to do these things I love. Often times it’s really scary and overwhelming to bring a child with you on some of these adventures, but we’re figuring it out. And I want to pass along my stories and experiences and tips to those who have similar interests! Even if you don’t have the same interests, perhaps you’ll find some humor or lessons applicable to your own life through my posts. 🙂
Thank you for reading!